He told Dave Berry he’d call Bono if he had a dead body in the back of his car and that he’s still waiting for Wayne Rooney to send him his Bentley in return for the cheeky request for a customised guitar he sent him for his 21st birthday. He recently lied to Nile Rodgers about how much new music he’d written after Nile heralded it ‘dope’ and wanted to collaborate and that Rick Astley writes profanities about himself on his own dressing rooms walls, despite Noel’s fears it could have been a member of his band.
Feet up, Noel’s in full effect. Full quotes below:
On who he would call first if he had a dead body in the boot of his car
“Paul Weller. Actually… Bono because we could dispose of the body somewhere in Africa and nobody would know.”
On demanding Wayne Rooney’s Bentley in return for a 21st birthday present guitar
“I got this rambling letter from Coleen Rooney saying, it’s Wayne’s 21st. He’s a huge fan. It’d be great if you could sign it for him. And I was like…. cheeky, what? So, I took all the parts off it. Got my mate who is a decorator to dip it in sky blue emulsion paint. Wait for it to dry, put all the parts back on it. Graffitied it with quite questionable Man City songs and sent it back to him with letter saying, ‘Happy birthday, Sponge Bob. Next time you want ‘owt signing send us your Bentley.’ And that was that. I think he’s still got it.”
On his other love – Manchester City FC – and their chance for another Premier League title
“Every year it gets better and better and the people who are running the club are honestly, I mean they’re heroes. They really have got it together up there. The players that they buy do not make that many mistakes. It’s great. It’s just the best time ever to be a City fan and of course, it’s hardly going to last so I think we’re just enjoying it while, enjoying the ride…. I think there are 2 games left, the odds have been slashed dramatically, but you can never say never because the Premier league will make a fool of you…. But we are the firm favourites.”
“What is interesting is how the whole country is united against the evil of Liverpool. I find that fascinating. I’ve got 3 Liverpool fans on tour with me. I’ve got 2 in the band and 1 is my guitar tech. He’s been my guitar tech for years. When they knocked us out of the champions league last year they celebrated just a little bit too much in front of me, and I was like, I won’t forget that. So if it transpires that we beat them this year, they’ve got a little surprise coming for them because we’re going to be on stage somewhere.
It’s brilliant, you get in a black cab and all the cab drivers are all football supporters, and they all
say – you’ve got to do it! And I’m like… you do realise I don’t play? I just go along and watch
same as everybody else”.
On who he’d have in his fantasy 3:3 football team
“Edison, he’s a beast. He looks like Jaws from the Spy Who Loved Me. If he is bearing down, do you know what I mean, dashes off his line dead quick, you’d be just like, yeah mate, have it.”
“Company and Ferdinand sounds a bit formidable doesn’t it. I’m not having Wayne Rooney in any guise, in any team. He is not even worthy being the kit man.”
On how Rick Astley makes his mark at gigs
“I did a gig with Rick Astley a while back in Manchester. I walked past his dressing room and outside it said, ‘Rick Astley’ and someone had written, a word that rhymes with ‘it’ underneath. I was walking past, and I see this, and I thought, everyone’s going to think it’s me, right? Only he writes it outside his own dressing room. ‘Rick Astley’s shit ’I said to him, if it’s one of my band, he’s going to get a clip round the ear. He was like, “no it was me mate.”
On fans’ reactions to the new sound
“Well when I’m in the studio I kind of, I just make the music I like. I’m on my own record label so I get to do what I want, which is great. … So I’m excited that people hear it, what they’ll think of it, because it’s quite different from what I’ve done before.”
On getting Nile Rogers’ seal of approval
“He’s like one of the greats, so I kind of went into the studio, and he was sat on the mixing desk doing his thing, playing the guitar. I just happened to have the track on and it just happened to start as he came in and he said, what’s this? And I was like, do you like it? And he said, well he said the now famous words…This is dope. … and he was literally dancing in the studio”.
On lying to Nile Rodgers
“He loved it and he was saying, have you got any more stuff like this? I was lying saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he said, can I play on it? And I was like, of course. When he left I was saying, I’d better write some more stuff like that.”
On how his rituals have calmed down for his headline performance at Isle of Wight Festival
“As you enter into your 40s and 50s, you’re just like, yeah I might rein it in tonight. I do have a drink before I go on, and it’s one drink… And funnily enough it’s a drink that I never drink in any other situation at all. I think I must’ve had a drink of whiskey one night and gone out and turned into Jimi Hendrix and thought, that’s the drink for me.”
On who he’d share a dressing room with at Isle of Wight
“I’d share it with Fat Boy Slim actually because I’d like him to do few remixes for me. … Norman is a dude yeah. Share with Norman.”